Things that make me go hmmmm (and other expletives!!)

I like to think I am tolerable but sweet lord I get truely annoyed at the most random of things like…………

  • People who cut the bus queue (howay, we have been waiting 30 minutes and u just sauntered on, errrrr get to the back knobhead!)
  • Impolite behaviour (I didn’t have to hold the door open, I ain’t no butler just achnowlege my existence)
  • Don’t touch the merchandise (I am more than happy to help you but their is no need to put your hands on me let alone hug me in an uncomfortable fashion, you wouldn’t do it to a man ,would you?)
  • When I’m sick and because you can’t see me throwing up you automatically think I’m faking. (Feel free to come and look after me when I’m bed ridden!) 
  • Celebrities giving their kids stupid names (I understand you are in the public eye and ‘want to be groundbreaking’ but that kids got to go through life and deserves not to be mocked at every opportunity)
  • When I can’t even go for a wee in peace (don’t get me wrong I love you being a kid but seriously this is something I’ll NEVER miss)
  • TV with no subtitles (my hearings like that of a 89 year old and I have kids screaming MAM MAM MAM at me, come on give me chance to take in some light entertainment!)
  • Invasion of space (I’m putting my pin in the machine back up man, security and all that)
  • Picture perfect (I have stood for the past hour sculpting, baking, concealing and illuminating my mug and I’m feeling fabulous so why does the selfie I just took say ‘hmmmm just slapped this on! FFS) 

Pip 💋🖤


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