Don’t you just hate it when you are going about your life and all of a sudden you encounter a superparent, you know the ones, they raise their perfect child perfectly.  Guess what dickheads It’s just not happening.  You can’t make me feel bad! I am impressed With myself when it gets to bedtime and I have managed to keep evrything together for another day, my child is still alive and kicking, that’s a bit of positive Parenting for me!! 

However this blog is about the judgey parenting I have encountered in the 3 years I have been a parent to what now is a far too strong willed, diva daughter who manages to fight me all the way but loves me every bit as strongly so it’s all forgiven.

  • CONTROL YOUR CHILD.

Numerous shopping trips have included a Tilly anger pity party for 1 on the floor but you know what I don’t need…….your attitude. Don’t stand there glaring at me she’s 3, she’s in a mood because i said she couldn’t have 7 kinder eggs and she’s decided to make it a vocal protest.  You think I should shut her up? How do you expect me to do this?  It’s not going to happen bud, if I give in now I’m in for a lifetime of it.  So while you look down your nose at me i will smile at you while simultaneously putting that second bottle of Pinot in the trolley.

  • BREAST IS BEST, HOW CAN YOU BOTTLE FEED THATS DETRIMENTAL!  

You know what’s detrimental telling me how to feed my child.  There’s no one good way to feed your baby, If you want to get your baps out and feed your kid feel free, whatever makes you happy, you don’t see me judging you because I don’t care what you do. All that should matter you are looking after your baby to the best of your abilities and that’s just what I am doing.  Formula used to cost me a fortune but feeding from my already deflated boobs just wasn’t for me, the thought of having my mini me suckling off me just made me want to gip.  I didn’t even try and I am over the moon with that decision.  You do you and I’ll do me. This is not a anti breastfeeding rant, I know pleanty of mums who do it and would never judge me this is aimed purely at the ones who go out of there way to quiz you about WHY you made the decision and appear to take your answer a little too personally!

  • YOU LET YOUR CHILD WATCH YOUTUBE? 

 Are you serious what do you think I do, give her the iPad and go out on the tiles?  Get a grip. I always monitor what she’s watching and actually it’s been a help to her.  She has used it to watch videos with sounds, songs, numbers, alphabets since she was very young and yes also the unboxing of surprise eggs (my personal favourite is  when they cut up squishy toys to see what’s inside, not even bothered at the satisfaction this gives me!).  Tilly loves the iPad and plays all sorts of games, music, videos and movies and I’m happy as i do not see it as a bad thing, it’s not like she sits in a darkened room rocking back and forward looking like some kind of Gollum character.  She plays, goes out and has fun at little school.  I have been told on many occasions about how advanced she is for her age and I am positive the ‘tube’ videos are at least partly to thank for this.  Electronics are just the way of the world now and children are using them in a way that we thought only adults were capable of so just pull up your big parent pants and get on with it.

  • OH YOU DONT WORK FULL TIME THAT MUST BE NICE.

Why? U jealous? I Wouldn’t be it’s not like I have any time to myself or a penny to rub together but we are happy.  I work two days a week and that’s more than I would like as I love staying and raising my daughter but I need to help contribute to the house and it keeps my foot in the working door for when mouse starts school.  Don’t think it’s all sunshine and roses like I sit on my arse watching tv shows because it’s nothing like that, I am a cook, cleaner, a snack bitch, drink retriever and general dogs body.  Trust me it’s an easier day for me when I have to get up to go work.  I am not complaining, I chose this and for us it was the best decision.  Work if it’s what you need to do I’m sure you get more luxuries out of life then I do (I don’t even understand what the world holiday means, that’s just the bits of year I get two more children to look after)  but one day when Tilly is all grown I know for myself I did what I could for her.

  • YOU LET YOUR DAUGHTER EAT THAT??! 

Do you want to come and watch as my daughter kicks off because I try to force her to do anything let alone eat food she doesn’t want to??! I dare you to come over with you quinoa She will break you in 5 minutes, you will be in the floor begging for mercy.  So do I feed my unbelievable picky child pizza, chicken nuggets, chips, pasta HELLS YEAH! I’ll feed her whatever she will eat at the moment. I wish she would eat all the natural stuff (don’t get me wrong she loves fruit) but I’m not going to sit back and starve my kid in the hopes she will eat constantly eat healthy.  We have tried her with everything since she was born and she is just picky, she still gets things put on the side which she cannot abide and certain things she can’t get enough of, mainly carrots so I will forever try her on new food.

  • HAVE YOU SEEN HER?

I have long pink hair and I’m covered in tattoos and have heard a million comments about them in hushed tones.  Apparently there’s a percentage of people who live in a make believe land in which these are a detrimental facet in my parenting skills.  Seriously it’s 2017 and most people have tattoos and dye their hair (maybe not a colour as bright as mine but still) I am my own person and my daughter looks up to me, I am just mummy to her and every night as I put her to bed she says ‘mummy I love your hair’.  I teach my daughter individuality, she would never judge you as that’s another thing I teach her so hush your tiny mind and keep your comments to yourself or if you really have something you feel you need to share regarding my appearance feel free to speak to me as a human, I will ALWAYS have an answer ready.

Parenting is hard enough without having your best work judged for the silliest of reasons.  Smile because haters will always hate and as long as you are handling your own business screw what anyone says.  It’s not your issue it’s theirs. 


Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄

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