So we are finally in a settled routine with Tilly and the boys.  School, pickups, drop offs and even the minor things are ironed out and I am a massive fan of routine and I like everything just so.

I went to the doctors who have diagnosed me with abdominal migraines and they have said that I need the coil fitted as my pill is a massive contributing factor to my illness which has stirred up some unknown feelings inside me about having babies.

I am nearly 34 and Tilly will be 4 this year with her brothers being 6 and 11 respectively, if I want another baby now is the time to do it, I’m getting on and when I have the coil fitted it will be in for 3 years and I wouldn’t take it out to try. 

Alex is content to not have anymore but if I wanted to try he would be 100% on board with my decision.  I’m totally torn on the idea.  On one hand I have mouse begging me for a baby sister (she has no idea we don’t choose) and then on the flip side I don’t know if I could go back to the disruption and intensity of having a newborn so I have decided to do what I do what I do best and that’s to make a pro/cons list 

Pros 

  • A live in sibling for mouse.
  • Having a little human who needs us as much as mouse.
  • Carrying a baby inside me, other than the indigestion it was the most amazing experience I have had as a woman.
  • Tilly would have a full time live in sibling.
  • WHO DOESNT LOVE A BABY!!

Cons 

  • Cost (baby’s are expensive)
  • Space (we have a 3 bedroom home, 1 for us, 1 for mouse and 1 for the boys when they come over.
  • Just getting my life back.
  • My dreams of a career change would be on hold again.
  • My age, I wish I had mouse earlier.

I fear my heart is trying to overrule my head.  I never wanted children yet here we are with 3 between us and another seems crazy when I say it out loud but some of the most important humans in my life are my two amazing sisters, my life would be nothing without their love and support and my heart aches that mouse won’t have that relationship, if her siblings lived closer I think my worries would be eased.

This blog isn’t really helping my cause, I’m just as confused as when I started so fingers crossed a decision just comes to me. I know everyone has their thoughts on the matter both to and against but this is solely one only myself and my husband can finally come to.  So who knows what this year will hold for the Flecks.

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄

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12 thoughts on “Is that my biological clock ticking?

  1. It is such a hard decision and one we have had to make, although different with us as we do have 2. I would have loved to have a third but I always said I didn’t want children when I was in my 30’s and I was 31 when second came along. Pregnancy was ok but not as easy as my first, I loved being pregnant first time round, not so much the second. We also don’t have the room and I’ve decided I don’t want to put my caree4 on hold any more, I simply can’t carry on childminding for my own sanity. We are going to look into fostering though as this may be something we could do. It’s definitely something only you and your husband can decide on but I will say this, there’s a 4 year gap between my 2 and they have such a lovely bond and friendship. I enjoy reading your blog, a lot I can relate to.

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    1. I feel like you come from the same mind space as I do!! I would defiantly have another java a sibling for Tilly if she didn’t have two brothers who live with their mum. Even though they live 65 miles away they stay over every other weekend so space is lacking but I do feel I would hate this to be a reason to not give her what she wants. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective I really appreciate it that and your kind comments about my blog that means a lot xx

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      1. I definitely feel that I can relate to each and every blog post you write. It really helps to have someone else who knows what you’re going through, how you’re feeling, what’s going on in your head. My husband supports me the best he can but at the end of the day he will never know how my brain works, he is the most laid back person on this earth, I’m not sure he knows how to worry, but I do enough for the both of us. You have to think ahead and ask yourself, will you regret not trying. I know I’ve come to terms with the fact we won’t have another and I know I won’t regret it. I also know I’m lucky to have the 2 I have because at one point we didn’t know if we would be able to have a second. If you decide not to, don’t feel quilts because Tilly (gorgeous name btw) wanted you to have another, it has to be right for you 🙂 x

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      2. Thank you Naomi I can’t tell you how helpful your words are to me. If you ever think of something you would like an opinion on give me a shout I’m always up for blogging on a idea. Thanks again Hun I will think about what you have said xxx

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      3. It is. The amount of times I’ve told Charlotte not to worry, it’s so easy to tell someone else. Unfortunately I can tell she has my traits already even though I don’t let her see how I’m feeling. I definitely think it’s hereditary.x

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  2. I was 34 when I had my first Brooke and never ever wanted kids…. but after I had her I wanted her to not be an only child so had kieron when I was 38! I still find motherhood difficult and they are 17 & 20! But the love and bond they have with each other is amazing! I’m glad and thankful that I had them x only you will know pip….you are a brilliant Mam and I’m sure what ever you decide will be right for yous xx

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      1. They have a Russian half brother who is about 8 now … they were there when he was born! and they’ve never seen him since he was little which broke Brooke’s heart! They now have a philipeno half sister who’s nearly 1 and they have never seen!! Their dad seems to think that he can just discard the children he’s had and move on to the next “family!’ He doesn’t realise how much he hurts them by posting pictures of his “new” family on social media when he can’t even phone or text my 2?? They might not be children anymore… like he says … but they are ALWAYS your kids! I’m glad they have each other xx

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      2. That’s heartbreaking!! He likes to spread his seed it’s such a shame it’s at the price of his other children. I’m glad they have each other and you. I imagine it’s not easy to watch your children go through that kind of pain when you are helpless but you are there and doing a fantastic job xx

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  3. Thanks pip like I say it’s still hard work but I wouldn’t be without them x they have both turned out to be good kids so I can take credit for that lol x there are no “right” decisions ….. you just deal with life as it pans out…. xx

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