A letter to my 12 year old self.

Dear Pip (12 years old),

Hi little Pip, how are you? You must just be Getting over your bad hospital stay and busy dealing the loss of your grandma and uncle.  Remember to Be strong not by suppressing your emotions (which you unfortunately became a master of) but by accepting your feelings and showing them, it’s a good thing to be vulnerable you will in time learn that it’s not a negative attribute to have.

You are geeky and unusual without trying and don’t ever change, you dress sense grows into something people are not used to seeing but think of yourself as a trendsetter, when you feel Alone and ugly know that that look you are constantly mocked for will be a norm in a few years.  You will grow into your own skin (it may take another 15 years but hang in there) and get more than you ever imagined was achievable.

Life will be tough at times, people won’t be nice to you, you will get bullied but always remember you are special and they are sheep, sad and probably lonely adults with a string of unsuccessful relationships because they don’t have compassion and  love in their hearts.  Don’t ever think you deserve it, you don’t and never follow through on the bad thoughts you have about yourself because you will grow and remain strange and unusual looking but you will grow to love yourself and so will others. Don’t let the words of those few nasty people dictate the way you view yourself, you are worthy and enough.

Concentrate at school and apply yourself a little harder, use your brain and you can go places.  You enjoy the arts but you always wish you could go back and do more with history so do it, it is a option for a career. 

Friends are important but not as important as you think they will be, don’t compromise your integrity just to be liked it’s not worth it and neither are those who want a ‘different version’ of you.  The friends you have when you are grown are few but very important and your best friend in the whole world you have known since you were 13/14 but she was a friend of a friend who’s love for you grew over years by simply getting to know you. You don’t need to be popular just yourself.

Appreciate your family, they are your best friends and the biggest fans you will ever have, just give them the time and the chance.  Be open and share your heart with them and the feeling will be reciprocated, you don’t need to hide away from them they would never judge you regardless of your ‘look’ or life choices.

Dream big, love unreserved and you can get anything and go anywhere your heart takes you.

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip (33 years old)