Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day!

My Mother’s Day card.

First off let me wish all my mothering readers a happy Mother’s Day.  A day where we get the recognition we totally deserve, well alongside doing all the other normal stuff we have to do everyday.

Mother’s Day doesn’t mean a stop for me.  It’s currently 7.07am (clocks have already gone forward remember!) and my tiny human, Tilly, has already barked her orders that she wants the iPad and a drink of milk in bed, pretty sure I should be the one being ran about after! 

Today I’m spending the day with some of my favourite women my mum and 2 sisters (alongside all of the respective people’s husbands/kids and dogs) and we are just having a get together and some KFC because a few weeks back we decided to have a day where we had to do nothing.  I’m sure you can all appreciate that today still involves, tidying the house, getting he kids sorted and general stuff that no one day can stop but I am doing as little as is humanly possible today!

I have a card, a bottle of wine and some Tilly made cupcakes for Mother’s Day and it’s more than I need.  Money’s always tight in the Fleck household but what we lack on money we more than make up for on madness, love and laughs. Mouse made me a beautiful cut out hand butterfly, which I have proudly displayed on the side of the fridge with all of the ‘picassoesque’ works of art and she brought me a daffodil back from little school on Thursday. It’s the little things that mean the world. 

If you have read my blog in the past you would probably know I never really wanted children but since falling pregnant and in the subsiquent years since I have realised that this is what I was made to do.

Being a mother to me is standing by TillyMae through every up and down, temperature and temper tantrum, supporting her individuality and loving her unconditionally .  I think me and her father have actually done a pretty awesome job so far, even if I do say so myself, she tells me 44,000 times a day that she loves me, that I’m beautiful and smart and gives out hugs and kisses like they are going out of favour.  She’s affectionate and passionate, moody and independent, intelligent and self assured and pretty much an amazing character.  I wish I had her compassion and conviction and she’s only 3 1/2 years old (going on 33!). Don’t get me wrong there have been times where I have wanted to put her out with the bins in the hopes they take her, days where I have locked myself in the bathroom and cried, where my anxiety mixed with the responsibility of keeping her alive AND well balanced have been crippling but those clouds pass and the sun comes out when I see her repeatedly dancing and singing to the opening theme tunes of her favourite shows, or she offers me her last sweety or bite of cake.

I hope you all have a great day and are treat like the queens you all are. Never forget you are amazing, you are doing the hardest job on the planet and nailing it.  One day your babies will be grown and have babies of their own to pass on the skills YOU have taught them, well done you. Plus when it all goes totally tits up I find wine helps.
Signing 0ff with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄

New world Tech kids.

New world Tech kids.

The topic of children having to much exposure to technology, social media and the internet is a definite modern day parenting dilemma. 

When I was a young girl we weren’t rich, we didn’t have sky and in the late eighties Computers were primitive and internet dial up was slow and not Reilly available  so it’s not really comparable to modern life but we played out in the street or the next street up without parental supervision.  I remember getting in from school, getting changed and going straight out to knock on my mates.  Mum would stand at the garden gate and shout of us when tea was ready then out again until bathtime.  

A lot of the time both my generation, who are now the parents glamourise the life of playing out and even the now grandparents look back on our childhoods as ‘carefree’ but what has to be taken into consideration in a modern day setting is how much of it was carefree and how much of it was just lack of information.

I will start by saying I would never let my child play out unsupervised until she was of an age to fully comprehend the dangers.  That’s just my personal opinion but I have seen kids of about 6 years old playing out at 8pm around where I live and over my dead body would that happen with mine.  I think that’s just irresponsible parenting. 

All of the children I know have games consoles, computers and internet access in their homes and spend a large chunk of their spare time using them.  People get all upset that the ‘kids of today’ are always looking at a screen but in reality the truth is that this is just the future.  

Parents should not complain about their kids spending so much time online without looking at their own actions, most adults are addicted to their phones and there capabilities.  Our existence revolves around it, we talk and post photographs on social media rather than talk in person.  We verify everything with google or Siri and save ourself the hassle of leaving the house to do the dreaded weekly shop with the kids by taping a few buttons while partaking in a glass of wine.
The internet is a modern day window to the world which to children it is just something that has been integral.

How long is spent on gaming consoles and iPads etc and what is exposed to your children via the internet is a completely separate issue.  Everything’s great in moderation but honestly this is a generation of lazy parenting and I’m just as guilty as the next of doing this.  I have dishes to wash,  a child toy whirlwind to pick up or I just want 5 minutes to sit and drink a cup of tea while it’s still hot so I give Tilly the iPad and she sits and watches YouTube, for 10 minutes she is quiet, still, peaceful and doesn’t shout ‘mummy’ constantly like she’s the dictator of her own little country of one subject.  I am usually around to keep an eye on what she sees but obviously we ant be around 24/7 and need to teach internet. As well as personal responsibility.  There have been times where she watches annoying bratty ‘bad baby’ videos of kids just being total rats and they get switched off because it does have a negative effect on her mood and behaviour, trust me I have witnessed it.

My steppy james is 11 and he has a Xbox and a PS3 in his room that all 3 kids play on, daddy has a PS4 in the front room that that all play on .  We watch movies and listen to music on other devices and phones because I’m not going to lie we love it.  

The thing about social media is this, wether you like it or not,  a lot of the bad stuff in the world was happening before we just have instant and easy access to the information now.  We are able to connect with people we once would never have and especially when children are concerned we need to remain as vigilant about teaching them about ‘stranger danger’ online  just as we would in real life.

Overall, technology goes hand in hand with modern life and if anything it’s only going to gain momentum, as parents we must get behind the movement while keeping both ourselves and our children informed of the dangers but never forget that life is for living and switching off and interacting with each other is the most important part of life.

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄 

“Opinions are like arseholes, everyones got one” 

“Opinions are like arseholes,  everyones got one” 

In today’s society social media and online life is EVERYTHING, from the kids like my children who spend time on sites like YouTube to myself, who use multiple sites simultaneously up to my parents and older who use platforms such as Facebook.
I think that a presence online is a crucial part of my existence.  Obviously I use WordPress for my blogging, Facebook not only to socialize with family and friends but as a way of connecting with amazing new people I normally would never of had the opportunity to connect with.  I also use Instagram to keep up to date with all of the latest news snippets from my favourite brands, celebrities, friends and family. While on Twitter I hold both a personal and blog site. That’s just the forms of social media I use in a regular basis.  

While online I have noticed in a increasingly alarming rate just how openly people speak to others with total disregard of feelings and 90% of the time without the facts.  Theres nothing I hate more than pompous idiots who think that its ‘my way or the highway’ when it comes to opinions.

Everybody has the right to indulge themselves online with a cheeky slice outward sharing, in both words and pictures and alot of the time we share our inner most feelings especially within specific pages and groups where we feel secure.  Facebook has a plethera of pages for every kind of interest where likeminded people meet and share interests from makeup and food to sheep shearing and hamster gymnastics (i made that one up but i bet it exists) basically something for everyone.

A few of the pages I’m in allow people to submit, anonymously, very private and sometimes secret  matters to get an outsiders opinion, things like women asking  which of two men look most like there baby, or what to do about obviously cheating spouses with such topics sparking extreme reactions people are always going to give there two cents and feel free to give it with disregard of people under the guise that ‘they asked’ when in reality they are humans and deserve to be treat like that regardless of situation.

I am part of many makeup groups and the comments i see on posted  photographs are shocking, sexist and dehumanising all because a girl or boy likes the art of painting their face to feel good about themselves or just to express creativity.  So you dont like the way they look for whatever reason what he hell does it matter to you? do you have to live with this person? why does it upset you to the point that comments need to be made in a vain attempt to crush someone.  Unfortunatly i have noticed a massive influx of people trolling lately and being nasty and often disgusting to theres just for the sake of stirring.  Faceless People are so brave behind keyboards and as largely unpoliced they are allowed to spout vile and often degrading crap without having to deal with the fallout.  They don’t have to deal with the person on the other side to see the hurt in their eyes, the anger they cause, the anxiety that crippled and even in desperate and heartbreaking cases the suicide those most severely effected.

I recently read a status from a beautiful lady, who I will call ‘S’.  This was a public status put up for those who are a part of the group.  This is someone who i have never met in person but whos life i follow closely through social media and i know her and engage with her on a personal level along with a few from the same page.  She shares her life, family, passions and struggles with others openly on her group page and really puts herself out there.  ‘S’ lives on a farm and has a daugter a little younger than mine.  She has bought her some baby chicks to help raise for eggs and was showing us how her daughter reacted to her new friends.  The whole point behind it is to show and teach her daughter to respect animals and to watch them grow and lay eggs and how it becomes food.  Basically our part in the chain of life while teaching how to care for animals.  REMEMBERING ‘S’ already has chickens on her farm i thought it a smart move but one woman decided to snake all over the post.  This one smartarse who i shall call ‘ShiftyV’ decided to take it upon herself to go on a one woman trolling mission against ‘S’ being condescending and bitchy trying to tell anyone how much ‘S’ was ‘exploiting animals’ how she was ‘using them for your own gain’ (well she already stated she was raising them for eggs?!) and how she was ‘not sorry for caring more about animals than your feelings’ (the whole converstaion was just an esculation of her defensivness and dickbagery).  She was being a complete douche, throwing around the fact she was vegan as an excuse to be rude, disrespectful and forcing her opinions on others.  She was basically going on a witchunt in an attempt to make ‘S’ feel bad, to make her feel as if she was doing something wrong, rather than just sharing that she had an opposing opinion.  The whole scinario was just insane, its not like someone had randomly just bought some chicks on a whim, thrown them at her child and told her to crack on (excuse the pun).  I hate when radicals use the term to bully and pressure others.

I feel many people use social media for a similar reason I write my blog, to make others feel a little less alone, a community, no matter how weird and hard our lives seem no matter the differing backgrounds and adversitys we have faced, we have twin souls all over the world.  That is what social media should be used for, for unity for love and friendship.  In this day and age nobody should ever be made to feel alone with a world full of people to communicate with but the human condition of competition, bitterness and jelously .

So next time you see someone trolling, stand up and say something.  That could be your loved one and likewise if you know the troll personally call them out.  Be better, choose better, feel self worth, inner strength and help educate those less caring.  Like my mother taught me ‘if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything.

 

Signing off with love and lipstick.

Pip

 

 

 

Being mum is kicking my ass today!

Being mum is kicking my ass today!

Holy crap today has been a hard one so far and it’s only teatime!

Sums today up.

Today has consisted of the following things

  • Being woken up at a time I didn’t even realise existed!
  • Mouse decided that ‘something scary’ might happen in the bathroom if she goes alone and refuses to let daddy take her!
  • Put on then quickly removed her costume for world book day (pretty sure Skye from paw patrol isn’t a book so 10/10 for shit mum skills)
  • Pooped in her nickers 
  • Decided not to wear a nappy as she wanted to make Pam @ little school happy ( Pam works at Tilly’s little school and is also my friend outside)
  • Had a poop in said pants again on the walk to school.
  • Had a Jesus of all meltdowns until I cleaned her up IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING ROAD.
  • She refused to walk any further than the doctors as she ‘has a temperature’ (aka she likes to play with the waiting room toys)
  •  Arrived at little school and demanded her costume on (had it in the bag, not falling for that again sucker!!)
  • Came home did the housework STILL didn’t have time to watch the final episode of TABOO (don’t worry Mr Hardy I’m saving you!!)
  • Daddy went to work leaving me to pick mouse up.
  • Collected mouse, she refused to leave instead she showed me EVERY toy in the room.
  • Turned out she had a poo on her book day costume, which also had to be handwashed (DONE).
  • She rode home on her little pink bike which took 50 minutes (20 minute walk usually).
  • Then just had a poop in her pants again, I’m sick of telling her she needs to tell me.

So that’s today so far so mammys opening the pink vino and toking on my e cig like I’m a freaking steam engine.  Day 2 of no smoking was a pig but still trying!!

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄

Is breast best? 

Is breast best? 


I decided to write this post after a received a message from a fellow mum asking for my opinion on the ongoing debate Breast feeding v bottle feeding.  This is a topic that refuses to desist so here I am to give my personal opinions on it all.  

Tilly Mae is 3 years and 3 months so it has been a while since I had to   Make the choice but the same issues are circling like hawks above new mothers heads and I think it’s getting worse if anything .

Everywhere I have looked lately I have noticed a massive influx in pictures of women breastfeeding or articles about how it’s so much better than bottle feeding. First things first I have no issue with mothers choosing to feed their children from their own milk but I just wish the same courtesy had been extended to me throughout my experience of bottle feeding. From the go I bottle fed and I have no regrets.
 

Anyone reading this who chooses to think that I am in anyway dissing boob feeders can just unlike, unfollow or just generally do one because this is not at all what I am doing.  I also believe that if you choose to breastfeed you should be allowed to and it wherever and whenever it is needed it really bothers me that people have to make such a stand by protesting/posting photographs  for it to be normalised.  

I didn’t even heat my daughters bottles up, I always used room temperature, sterilised formula from day one and I never had any issue but again this is not a blog focusing on how I prepped my child’s food, do what works for you .
I received such judgement from day one from mid wives, nurses, healthcare workers and generally other mothers about my lack of desire to feed Tilly from my own milk. I was made to feel like a bad mum for choosing not to breast feed but I know I am a good mother for choosing what’s I feel more comfortable as an opinion for my child. 
I have just watched a video made by bottle feeding mothers defending themselves which just annoys the heck out of me EVERY SINGLE ONE gave excuses as to why they didn’t breastfeed 
‘It hurt my nipples’

‘I didn’t produce enough milk’

I hate that mothers are made to feel like they need to come up with reasons why the chose formula. Don’t feel pressured to do anything choose your own path. My reason for not breastfeeding is that the thought of it creeped me out, I’m not ashamed of my opinion or my choice because that’s exactly what it is a choice.  
I’m sick of mothers mud slinging at each other for not standing by a certain idea when we should be standing side by side for raising out children the best way we can. It’s yet another non argument that causes such strong reactions within the different fractions.
We are all parents. Bottle feeding was good for me it allowed me the freedom that I wanted, it allowed my husband and family to share in then joy of feeding our daughter and gave me a break when I needed it most.
We would all go mad if it was an argument like ‘what’s the best way to raise a child, within a religious or non religious movement?’ It doesn’t matter, people should just stop it we are all just fighting about what and who’s best when we should be fighting to have all children and parents treated equally regardless of something so trivial as how they are fed.

Signing off with love and lipstick,
Pip 🖤💋💄

Is that my biological clock ticking?

Is that my biological clock ticking?



So we are finally in a settled routine with Tilly and the boys.  School, pickups, drop offs and even the minor things are ironed out and I am a massive fan of routine and I like everything just so.

I went to the doctors who have diagnosed me with abdominal migraines and they have said that I need the coil fitted as my pill is a massive contributing factor to my illness which has stirred up some unknown feelings inside me about having babies.

I am nearly 34 and Tilly will be 4 this year with her brothers being 6 and 11 respectively, if I want another baby now is the time to do it, I’m getting on and when I have the coil fitted it will be in for 3 years and I wouldn’t take it out to try. 

Alex is content to not have anymore but if I wanted to try he would be 100% on board with my decision.  I’m totally torn on the idea.  On one hand I have mouse begging me for a baby sister (she has no idea we don’t choose) and then on the flip side I don’t know if I could go back to the disruption and intensity of having a newborn so I have decided to do what I do what I do best and that’s to make a pro/cons list 

Pros 

  • A live in sibling for mouse.
  • Having a little human who needs us as much as mouse.
  • Carrying a baby inside me, other than the indigestion it was the most amazing experience I have had as a woman.
  • Tilly would have a full time live in sibling.
  • WHO DOESNT LOVE A BABY!!

Cons 

  • Cost (baby’s are expensive)
  • Space (we have a 3 bedroom home, 1 for us, 1 for mouse and 1 for the boys when they come over.
  • Just getting my life back.
  • My dreams of a career change would be on hold again.
  • My age, I wish I had mouse earlier.

I fear my heart is trying to overrule my head.  I never wanted children yet here we are with 3 between us and another seems crazy when I say it out loud but some of the most important humans in my life are my two amazing sisters, my life would be nothing without their love and support and my heart aches that mouse won’t have that relationship, if her siblings lived closer I think my worries would be eased.

This blog isn’t really helping my cause, I’m just as confused as when I started so fingers crossed a decision just comes to me. I know everyone has their thoughts on the matter both to and against but this is solely one only myself and my husband can finally come to.  So who knows what this year will hold for the Flecks.

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄

I will never do THAT when I’m a mum…..


When younger, free of kids and the responsibility that goes with it we can so easily look at other mothers and say,

“I will NEVER do that when I’m a mother”

The flip side of this simple thought is something completely different.  It’s easy to sit back with your full nights sleep and ‘me’ time and idealise that you will be some kind of Snow whitesque parent but In all reality when it comes down to it you will do ANYTHING for a easy and peaceful life.

I was sat in the doctors waiting room yesterday with a woman who was heavily pregnant and her son who was about to turn one.  He was running around and being a typical kid but you could see she was anxious at people’s looks.  Me and my sister struck up a conversation with her as she bribed her son into sitting in his pushchair with the promise of a lollipop.  She was making a point of telling us that it was a ‘treat’ and that ‘he doesn’t normally get sweets.  I stopped her in her tracks and explained what we have kids and she didn’t have to explain herself to us, as trust us we understand.

Some days your kids are being proper douchey,they are just in a mood for no sane reason where they don’t want to eat, they cry, they are overly clingy and at this point there is only so long you can remain calm before chucking a packet of gummy bears to them just to make it stop, even if it is for 5 minute while they demolish the sugary treat like tiny cannibals.  

The other day Tilly woke up crying and I knew I was in for a day from hell before I even got out of bed.  She was sobbing her heart out and when i asked her what was wrong apparently I had ruined her life because I don’t let her go in the bath wearing a swimming costume!!? I mean come on kid what the actual hell are you talking about, this has never even been a discussion but hell if it makes you happy and stops the crying let me grab a vatt of tea and I will run you a bath feel free to wear what you fancy.  By the time we went downstairs she found my iPad and put on max and ruby (I have many issues with this programme, where’s their parents for a start) and she totally forgot about the mornings meltdown a mere 10 minutes prior!

Many Kids are weird eaters and mine is no exception.  She’s a non eater, she has no appetite at all (apart from ‘treats’), so when she asks for something I feed her it but in a typical day she survives of rice crispies, crumpets, chicken nuggets and a variation of other crap.  She will rub her tummy and say ‘I’m hungry’ when I say what do you want she always says ‘sweets’, well your not really hungry then are you little mate!  

She LOVES YouTube, I mean loves it, potentially more than she loves me.  I would always say, ‘I’m not having my child watch that trash’ now I’m SO on board with the gods of tube.  It teaches her so much and makes her happy.  It’s not like she’s on it 24/7 but if it gets me a extra hour in bed in the morning well I’m not stupid, sign me up.

I used to feed Tilly Crisps in her pushchair when going around the shops if it stopped her from having the mother of all meltdowns and I’m not even ashamed.

She is allowed to think she runs the show when needed but in all reality she knows who’s boss, just ask her she always responds with ‘mummy’s the boss’.

My daughter is fierce and independent and I allow much more than I ever thought I would but trust me I now realise I had some twisted notion that I would be some kind tattooed stepford wife when in reality during my short period of being a mum so far I have sneaked a bar or two of chocolate into the toilet, locked the door and eaten it while Tilly’s been pounding on the other side just for a minute to regain my sanity, it ain’t glamorous but needs must when the devil drives.

The make believe movie adaptation of motherhood now makes me laugh, most of us are lucky to function and if it takes bribery, trickery and all the handed down magic to make it work then that’s just what we will do.  The reality never fits the ideal and I have the support of my husband so when I see single mothers/fathers holding their own I want to hug them and congratulate them on having the strength and surviving.

I love my kids but don’t get me wrong I’m getting my own back with 5am starts and uncontrollable hysterics when they are teens, it’s character building.

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄