Do you ever think of me.  A open letter to my teen bullies.

Do you ever think of me.  A open letter to my teen bullies.

Hello, do you remember me?

I am the girl that nobody noticed except you and your friends.  You did not notice me because I am kind, patient, loving and accepting but because I looked different. You didn’t choose to get to know me you chose to target me.

Do you ever think of me? What happened to me? How your words and actions affected me?

I can tell you I am well infact my life has worked itself out to be a thing of beauty but no thanks to you all.  I have lifelong fears and doubts about myself that never would have existed without you.  I looked different, it didn’t mean I was a ‘freak’, I liked things you did not this did not mean ‘I deserved it’.

You made my life misery, when I think of that time my world has so muddy and grey with sadness and uncertainty.  I used to fake illness to be sent home rather than have to face you and endure the words you would call me in constant hushed tones so the teacher wouldn’t hear and I would pray the teacher wouldn’t be called out of the room because when this did happen you would send out the call to the others in the class and you would all start on me. You would hit me with ruler, spit at me and throw things among other threats.

I understand now how strong I actually was because you didn’t break me, you could have but I was stronger than that. I can see how people commit suicide because of bullying as I felt I had nowhere to turn even though I have a very loving and supportive family I felt  I couldn’t open up or it would get worse. I only ever made one attempt at getting help. I reached out to a male teacher of importance and without a second thought he replied with ‘what do you think will happen when you dress like that’ ans nothing more was ever mentioned.  I am so thankful that social media didn’t exist or I am unsure of the outcome.  I know bullying is a focus within schools these days but as one of the bullied this only works if it’s seen or heard, my scenario went totally unnoticed.  I was finally caught out by my mum who pinned in a corner and could see through all of the excuses I made until I let the wall down and admitted what was happening.

The impact you have had on me is so significant, my life has been changed because of you but on a positive I am even more accepting of others, more open to new and different things but I will not allow you to take credit for that because it was all me.

I forgive you for what you did to me, I often wonder what made you all so cruel wether you were mistreated from someone?  I hope your life is good that you protect any children you may have and teach them to be better than you were.  Above all else I hope you realise what you did and think about it from time to time with regret.

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄

Have a little faith in yourself, you are enough.

Have a little faith in yourself, you are enough.

All of my life I strived to be happy, i ran from anything that didn’t sit right or even slightly felt as if it wasn’t going my way.  Filling life with as much joy as I can cram into my 5 ft 2 body was and always will be, other than my family the driving force in my existence and I feel after 34 years I am finally in a place of self achieved contentment, I am married, I have an amazing family who I love and love me just a feircely and a circle of friends who I would stand with through any battle and a job I love.  This is what I was searching for but not particularly what I thought would bring happiness so be open to the unexpected.

I have recently taken the massive new step, especially considering I usually hate change and finally after 11 years at HMV and gotten myself a brand shiney new job.  I can proudly say that I work for smashbox cosmetics and get to surround myself with makeup all day.  I was past believing that you can start again, that life goes my way sometimes which makes me even more appreciative.  I have always loved makeup and have even gained distinctions at college so I am beyond thrilled in my new job.  I have been welcomed with open hearts by my new work mates which makes everything so much easier.

Anyway I am getting away from my point.  I do and always will have insecurities but they pale in significance to the great things that can be achieved in everyday life.  Life truely did start for me at 30 and here I am 34 and finally living.  I am so excited for the future and look  forward to ticking more things off my newly formed ‘bucket list’ (I have even saved a list on my phone) because I can and I will drive myself to be better, to gain happiness to fill my life with the things I need and want, no more putting it on the back burner.  My dreams vary from small to large but I will be going to IMATS next spring, I will be attending the hyper Japan festival in London next year all of this along side learning some new things, My mother always said that I would be a life long student.  I want to learn how to drive, to learn a new language, to take my little mouse to Disney for her Halloween birthday in a few years and anything else that sparks my interest.  

Alway remember to dream big and live even bigger. You are worthy of good things so grab them and embrace it all because sometimes life is really shitty so while it’s good make it great. 

I need to keep my mind in this frame and keep myself motivated so here we go and I will drop in with my little achievements along the way.  I hope you all share with me your life goals and let’s all move forward and grab life by the balls.

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄

Honeymoon was life!

Honeymoon was life!


I am back from my honeymoon and feeling so renewed and refreshed. When we got married we asked for no gifts but if people wanted to bestow us with something a donation to our honeymoon fund would be appreciated (with 3 kids between us we would never have had the spare money).  Our guests were lovely and generous so we booked a fabulous 5 day, CHILD FREE break away to centreparcs, Whinfell Forest, Cumbria.  

It was lush spending some time alone with my husband especially to have the chance to go away! So with Tilly packed off to spend the week with her two aunties and plethora of cousins and tuna dog off for her own holiday with grandma and Alfie dog we were good to go.

We rode along on the motorbike which was so much fun but my back nearly died carrying the worlds biggest, heaviest backpack known to mankind (my makeup was defiantly not ALL the weight, but with the war paint I need it was a fair majority) .

I had to take a photo to include where we parked 😂

We stayed in 5 Lakeside Apartments. It’s was a luxury lakeside (bet you didn’t guess that one) studio apartment.  It was top notch so clean and Spacious that I could live there (if we didn’t have kids that is!). 

View from our seating area.
I could have tidied before I took a photo!!

Our days were filled with food, drink and having fun.

Husband handed my ass to me! I can’t bowl for shit!

During all of the fun I descovered that I am terrible at bowling and pool, however it also turns out my skills at pool (bowling not so much) greatly improve when I have a couple (or more) drinks.
Pool shark 🎱

Food was high, maybe even top of my agenda.  Other than my husband food is my soulmate.  If anyone is as interested in photographs of people’s food as much as I am you might enjoy a few of my photos.

Mango mojito 10/10 yum
Garlic mushrooms from cafe Rouge 9/10
Giant cream eclair
Chicken and sweetcorn omelette with garlic butter. 4/10 total disappointment, knew I should have gone for a waffle
Double cheeseburger from hucks 6/10 good burger just not epic

The wether was glorious the whole week, I’m not outdoorsy in the slightest, I don’t do outdoor activities and the thought of it actually fills me with dread, so some would say it’s lost on me but I was there for some R&R and that’s just what I got.  Went swimming twice which with the body issues I have is rather impressive, I took my glasses off to go in (I’m totally blind without them) so I couldn’t see any ones reaction (even though nobody was probably even looking!!) but in my world I was a brave girl!!

My Lord I’m so cool 😎
We were like kids again in the arcades, 10p machines are my rush…….I dream big lol, husband on the other hand liked the motorbike game #shocker! 

I NEED this KAWAII hello kitty air hockey table in my LIFE 😍😍
You can take the boy off the bike but you can never take the child out of the man.
 

I did however miss my little Mouse, we have barely been apart since the day she was born and we were surrounded by family’s It got progressively Worse as the time went on so  I made it my mission to win her a smurf on the grabby machine.  I was convinced they were rigged until we saw kids with some so it was GAME ON! At one point I was right on the brink and I could see a dad and his kid hovering to try and get on but hell no losers, back up smurfette was mine *insert villain laugh here.

No grabber can beat me!!

We had a fantastic time and we laughed so much, I defiantly married someone who can make me smile.

Greatest photobomb of all time!
Already looking forward to going back.

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄

New world Tech kids.

New world Tech kids.

The topic of children having to much exposure to technology, social media and the internet is a definite modern day parenting dilemma. 

When I was a young girl we weren’t rich, we didn’t have sky and in the late eighties Computers were primitive and internet dial up was slow and not Reilly available  so it’s not really comparable to modern life but we played out in the street or the next street up without parental supervision.  I remember getting in from school, getting changed and going straight out to knock on my mates.  Mum would stand at the garden gate and shout of us when tea was ready then out again until bathtime.  

A lot of the time both my generation, who are now the parents glamourise the life of playing out and even the now grandparents look back on our childhoods as ‘carefree’ but what has to be taken into consideration in a modern day setting is how much of it was carefree and how much of it was just lack of information.

I will start by saying I would never let my child play out unsupervised until she was of an age to fully comprehend the dangers.  That’s just my personal opinion but I have seen kids of about 6 years old playing out at 8pm around where I live and over my dead body would that happen with mine.  I think that’s just irresponsible parenting. 

All of the children I know have games consoles, computers and internet access in their homes and spend a large chunk of their spare time using them.  People get all upset that the ‘kids of today’ are always looking at a screen but in reality the truth is that this is just the future.  

Parents should not complain about their kids spending so much time online without looking at their own actions, most adults are addicted to their phones and there capabilities.  Our existence revolves around it, we talk and post photographs on social media rather than talk in person.  We verify everything with google or Siri and save ourself the hassle of leaving the house to do the dreaded weekly shop with the kids by taping a few buttons while partaking in a glass of wine.
The internet is a modern day window to the world which to children it is just something that has been integral.

How long is spent on gaming consoles and iPads etc and what is exposed to your children via the internet is a completely separate issue.  Everything’s great in moderation but honestly this is a generation of lazy parenting and I’m just as guilty as the next of doing this.  I have dishes to wash,  a child toy whirlwind to pick up or I just want 5 minutes to sit and drink a cup of tea while it’s still hot so I give Tilly the iPad and she sits and watches YouTube, for 10 minutes she is quiet, still, peaceful and doesn’t shout ‘mummy’ constantly like she’s the dictator of her own little country of one subject.  I am usually around to keep an eye on what she sees but obviously we ant be around 24/7 and need to teach internet. As well as personal responsibility.  There have been times where she watches annoying bratty ‘bad baby’ videos of kids just being total rats and they get switched off because it does have a negative effect on her mood and behaviour, trust me I have witnessed it.

My steppy james is 11 and he has a Xbox and a PS3 in his room that all 3 kids play on, daddy has a PS4 in the front room that that all play on .  We watch movies and listen to music on other devices and phones because I’m not going to lie we love it.  

The thing about social media is this, wether you like it or not,  a lot of the bad stuff in the world was happening before we just have instant and easy access to the information now.  We are able to connect with people we once would never have and especially when children are concerned we need to remain as vigilant about teaching them about ‘stranger danger’ online  just as we would in real life.

Overall, technology goes hand in hand with modern life and if anything it’s only going to gain momentum, as parents we must get behind the movement while keeping both ourselves and our children informed of the dangers but never forget that life is for living and switching off and interacting with each other is the most important part of life.

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄