Holy crap today we are celebrating the 40th anniversary of my mum and dad’s wedding! Seriously that blows my mind. They have had their ups and downs and they do drive each other crazy but here they are still unified, that’s a rarity with any relationship.
Marriage is something that is so disposable to our generation. People get married because they think its love or it’s the thing to do , the next move. To be fair these are all legitimate reasons to commit but from the way I see it when it gets tough, I mean really tough, people clam up and communication stops leading to resentment, resentment leads to loss of love/patience/willingness to give and selflessness no relationship can stand such a tirade of pain. My mum once said to me that ‘love is not enough’ which now as an adult the meaning of which is profound. It’s not enough, it will never be, its just as much about hard graft putting the work into a relationship as it is about love.
Don’t get me wrong hell no am I any kind of marriage expert, I have only been married little over a month!! I do however think that through what I have been through within my relationship before hand I know something of tolerance, forgiveness and acceptance and the importance of it.
I’m naturally a relationship runner, always have been I thought it was just a trait of mine now I realise I’m scared not of commitment but of unhappiness. I ran when i hit a plateau, there was no real emotional connection left just friendship. It was never my partner it was always me I got scared, scared of living my life existing within a relationship not thriving within a partnership.
I realised what I was doing and opened myself up to life beyond the fairytale to the realisation that I have to take responsibility for my participation, I grew and I grew up! Look at me now I got married, I committed, a thing that still surprises me now when I say it out loud. The 5 years prior to our big day was hard, we were always tested, the strength of our relationship grew and eventually marriage and settling down was the easiest choice I have ever made. I have a life, epic love in my heart and a family of my own, it’s hard work everyday but it’s rewarding even when I’m sleep deprived and have forgotten to brush my hair!!Life’s hard, shitty at times but it’s all about effort. I will put in as much as is physically possible and following the example of the greatest influence and couple I know I hope I am where they are this time in 40 years.