New world Tech kids.

New world Tech kids.

The topic of children having to much exposure to technology, social media and the internet is a definite modern day parenting dilemma. 

When I was a young girl we weren’t rich, we didn’t have sky and in the late eighties Computers were primitive and internet dial up was slow and not Reilly available  so it’s not really comparable to modern life but we played out in the street or the next street up without parental supervision.  I remember getting in from school, getting changed and going straight out to knock on my mates.  Mum would stand at the garden gate and shout of us when tea was ready then out again until bathtime.  

A lot of the time both my generation, who are now the parents glamourise the life of playing out and even the now grandparents look back on our childhoods as ‘carefree’ but what has to be taken into consideration in a modern day setting is how much of it was carefree and how much of it was just lack of information.

I will start by saying I would never let my child play out unsupervised until she was of an age to fully comprehend the dangers.  That’s just my personal opinion but I have seen kids of about 6 years old playing out at 8pm around where I live and over my dead body would that happen with mine.  I think that’s just irresponsible parenting. 

All of the children I know have games consoles, computers and internet access in their homes and spend a large chunk of their spare time using them.  People get all upset that the ‘kids of today’ are always looking at a screen but in reality the truth is that this is just the future.  

Parents should not complain about their kids spending so much time online without looking at their own actions, most adults are addicted to their phones and there capabilities.  Our existence revolves around it, we talk and post photographs on social media rather than talk in person.  We verify everything with google or Siri and save ourself the hassle of leaving the house to do the dreaded weekly shop with the kids by taping a few buttons while partaking in a glass of wine.
The internet is a modern day window to the world which to children it is just something that has been integral.

How long is spent on gaming consoles and iPads etc and what is exposed to your children via the internet is a completely separate issue.  Everything’s great in moderation but honestly this is a generation of lazy parenting and I’m just as guilty as the next of doing this.  I have dishes to wash,  a child toy whirlwind to pick up or I just want 5 minutes to sit and drink a cup of tea while it’s still hot so I give Tilly the iPad and she sits and watches YouTube, for 10 minutes she is quiet, still, peaceful and doesn’t shout ‘mummy’ constantly like she’s the dictator of her own little country of one subject.  I am usually around to keep an eye on what she sees but obviously we ant be around 24/7 and need to teach internet. As well as personal responsibility.  There have been times where she watches annoying bratty ‘bad baby’ videos of kids just being total rats and they get switched off because it does have a negative effect on her mood and behaviour, trust me I have witnessed it.

My steppy james is 11 and he has a Xbox and a PS3 in his room that all 3 kids play on, daddy has a PS4 in the front room that that all play on .  We watch movies and listen to music on other devices and phones because I’m not going to lie we love it.  

The thing about social media is this, wether you like it or not,  a lot of the bad stuff in the world was happening before we just have instant and easy access to the information now.  We are able to connect with people we once would never have and especially when children are concerned we need to remain as vigilant about teaching them about ‘stranger danger’ online  just as we would in real life.

Overall, technology goes hand in hand with modern life and if anything it’s only going to gain momentum, as parents we must get behind the movement while keeping both ourselves and our children informed of the dangers but never forget that life is for living and switching off and interacting with each other is the most important part of life.

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄 

“Opinions are like arseholes, everyones got one” 

“Opinions are like arseholes,  everyones got one” 

In today’s society social media and online life is EVERYTHING, from the kids like my children who spend time on sites like YouTube to myself, who use multiple sites simultaneously up to my parents and older who use platforms such as Facebook.
I think that a presence online is a crucial part of my existence.  Obviously I use WordPress for my blogging, Facebook not only to socialize with family and friends but as a way of connecting with amazing new people I normally would never of had the opportunity to connect with.  I also use Instagram to keep up to date with all of the latest news snippets from my favourite brands, celebrities, friends and family. While on Twitter I hold both a personal and blog site. That’s just the forms of social media I use in a regular basis.  

While online I have noticed in a increasingly alarming rate just how openly people speak to others with total disregard of feelings and 90% of the time without the facts.  Theres nothing I hate more than pompous idiots who think that its ‘my way or the highway’ when it comes to opinions.

Everybody has the right to indulge themselves online with a cheeky slice outward sharing, in both words and pictures and alot of the time we share our inner most feelings especially within specific pages and groups where we feel secure.  Facebook has a plethera of pages for every kind of interest where likeminded people meet and share interests from makeup and food to sheep shearing and hamster gymnastics (i made that one up but i bet it exists) basically something for everyone.

A few of the pages I’m in allow people to submit, anonymously, very private and sometimes secret  matters to get an outsiders opinion, things like women asking  which of two men look most like there baby, or what to do about obviously cheating spouses with such topics sparking extreme reactions people are always going to give there two cents and feel free to give it with disregard of people under the guise that ‘they asked’ when in reality they are humans and deserve to be treat like that regardless of situation.

I am part of many makeup groups and the comments i see on posted  photographs are shocking, sexist and dehumanising all because a girl or boy likes the art of painting their face to feel good about themselves or just to express creativity.  So you dont like the way they look for whatever reason what he hell does it matter to you? do you have to live with this person? why does it upset you to the point that comments need to be made in a vain attempt to crush someone.  Unfortunatly i have noticed a massive influx of people trolling lately and being nasty and often disgusting to theres just for the sake of stirring.  Faceless People are so brave behind keyboards and as largely unpoliced they are allowed to spout vile and often degrading crap without having to deal with the fallout.  They don’t have to deal with the person on the other side to see the hurt in their eyes, the anger they cause, the anxiety that crippled and even in desperate and heartbreaking cases the suicide those most severely effected.

I recently read a status from a beautiful lady, who I will call ‘S’.  This was a public status put up for those who are a part of the group.  This is someone who i have never met in person but whos life i follow closely through social media and i know her and engage with her on a personal level along with a few from the same page.  She shares her life, family, passions and struggles with others openly on her group page and really puts herself out there.  ‘S’ lives on a farm and has a daugter a little younger than mine.  She has bought her some baby chicks to help raise for eggs and was showing us how her daughter reacted to her new friends.  The whole point behind it is to show and teach her daughter to respect animals and to watch them grow and lay eggs and how it becomes food.  Basically our part in the chain of life while teaching how to care for animals.  REMEMBERING ‘S’ already has chickens on her farm i thought it a smart move but one woman decided to snake all over the post.  This one smartarse who i shall call ‘ShiftyV’ decided to take it upon herself to go on a one woman trolling mission against ‘S’ being condescending and bitchy trying to tell anyone how much ‘S’ was ‘exploiting animals’ how she was ‘using them for your own gain’ (well she already stated she was raising them for eggs?!) and how she was ‘not sorry for caring more about animals than your feelings’ (the whole converstaion was just an esculation of her defensivness and dickbagery).  She was being a complete douche, throwing around the fact she was vegan as an excuse to be rude, disrespectful and forcing her opinions on others.  She was basically going on a witchunt in an attempt to make ‘S’ feel bad, to make her feel as if she was doing something wrong, rather than just sharing that she had an opposing opinion.  The whole scinario was just insane, its not like someone had randomly just bought some chicks on a whim, thrown them at her child and told her to crack on (excuse the pun).  I hate when radicals use the term to bully and pressure others.

I feel many people use social media for a similar reason I write my blog, to make others feel a little less alone, a community, no matter how weird and hard our lives seem no matter the differing backgrounds and adversitys we have faced, we have twin souls all over the world.  That is what social media should be used for, for unity for love and friendship.  In this day and age nobody should ever be made to feel alone with a world full of people to communicate with but the human condition of competition, bitterness and jelously .

So next time you see someone trolling, stand up and say something.  That could be your loved one and likewise if you know the troll personally call them out.  Be better, choose better, feel self worth, inner strength and help educate those less caring.  Like my mother taught me ‘if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything.

 

Signing off with love and lipstick.

Pip

 

 

 

Being mum is kicking my ass today!

Being mum is kicking my ass today!

Holy crap today has been a hard one so far and it’s only teatime!

Sums today up.

Today has consisted of the following things

  • Being woken up at a time I didn’t even realise existed!
  • Mouse decided that ‘something scary’ might happen in the bathroom if she goes alone and refuses to let daddy take her!
  • Put on then quickly removed her costume for world book day (pretty sure Skye from paw patrol isn’t a book so 10/10 for shit mum skills)
  • Pooped in her nickers 
  • Decided not to wear a nappy as she wanted to make Pam @ little school happy ( Pam works at Tilly’s little school and is also my friend outside)
  • Had a poop in said pants again on the walk to school.
  • Had a Jesus of all meltdowns until I cleaned her up IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING ROAD.
  • She refused to walk any further than the doctors as she ‘has a temperature’ (aka she likes to play with the waiting room toys)
  •  Arrived at little school and demanded her costume on (had it in the bag, not falling for that again sucker!!)
  • Came home did the housework STILL didn’t have time to watch the final episode of TABOO (don’t worry Mr Hardy I’m saving you!!)
  • Daddy went to work leaving me to pick mouse up.
  • Collected mouse, she refused to leave instead she showed me EVERY toy in the room.
  • Turned out she had a poo on her book day costume, which also had to be handwashed (DONE).
  • She rode home on her little pink bike which took 50 minutes (20 minute walk usually).
  • Then just had a poop in her pants again, I’m sick of telling her she needs to tell me.

So that’s today so far so mammys opening the pink vino and toking on my e cig like I’m a freaking steam engine.  Day 2 of no smoking was a pig but still trying!!

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄

Is breast best? 

Is breast best? 


I decided to write this post after a received a message from a fellow mum asking for my opinion on the ongoing debate Breast feeding v bottle feeding.  This is a topic that refuses to desist so here I am to give my personal opinions on it all.  

Tilly Mae is 3 years and 3 months so it has been a while since I had to   Make the choice but the same issues are circling like hawks above new mothers heads and I think it’s getting worse if anything .

Everywhere I have looked lately I have noticed a massive influx in pictures of women breastfeeding or articles about how it’s so much better than bottle feeding. First things first I have no issue with mothers choosing to feed their children from their own milk but I just wish the same courtesy had been extended to me throughout my experience of bottle feeding. From the go I bottle fed and I have no regrets.
 

Anyone reading this who chooses to think that I am in anyway dissing boob feeders can just unlike, unfollow or just generally do one because this is not at all what I am doing.  I also believe that if you choose to breastfeed you should be allowed to and it wherever and whenever it is needed it really bothers me that people have to make such a stand by protesting/posting photographs  for it to be normalised.  

I didn’t even heat my daughters bottles up, I always used room temperature, sterilised formula from day one and I never had any issue but again this is not a blog focusing on how I prepped my child’s food, do what works for you .
I received such judgement from day one from mid wives, nurses, healthcare workers and generally other mothers about my lack of desire to feed Tilly from my own milk. I was made to feel like a bad mum for choosing not to breast feed but I know I am a good mother for choosing what’s I feel more comfortable as an opinion for my child. 
I have just watched a video made by bottle feeding mothers defending themselves which just annoys the heck out of me EVERY SINGLE ONE gave excuses as to why they didn’t breastfeed 
‘It hurt my nipples’

‘I didn’t produce enough milk’

I hate that mothers are made to feel like they need to come up with reasons why the chose formula. Don’t feel pressured to do anything choose your own path. My reason for not breastfeeding is that the thought of it creeped me out, I’m not ashamed of my opinion or my choice because that’s exactly what it is a choice.  
I’m sick of mothers mud slinging at each other for not standing by a certain idea when we should be standing side by side for raising out children the best way we can. It’s yet another non argument that causes such strong reactions within the different fractions.
We are all parents. Bottle feeding was good for me it allowed me the freedom that I wanted, it allowed my husband and family to share in then joy of feeding our daughter and gave me a break when I needed it most.
We would all go mad if it was an argument like ‘what’s the best way to raise a child, within a religious or non religious movement?’ It doesn’t matter, people should just stop it we are all just fighting about what and who’s best when we should be fighting to have all children and parents treated equally regardless of something so trivial as how they are fed.

Signing off with love and lipstick,
Pip 🖤💋💄

A rediagnosis has given me my life back.

A rediagnosis has given me my life back.

I can finally share the joy that is my re diagnosis for the ongoing medical issues I have had over the past 15 years.  I have spent almost half of my life in chronic pain, being sent from gastroenterologists to gynaecologists and back more times than I care to remember been subjected to every test I can think of to try and pin down what is wrong with me.  

I tried to get my repeat pescription for my tramadol only to be refused by my new gp, let’s just say I was less than impressed.  I was given a pescription for indigestion (a hernia was found during my last endoscopy) but this is something I barely suffer with so in a huff I told the doctor she could keep her medication and that I wanted another appointment to investigate this problem.

My younger sister is a sister at the RVI hospital in Newcastle so I asked her to accompany me for reassurance and help with getting the seriousness of my condition over to a woman I felt was not taking me seriously.

Anyway, i sat down in the same chair in the same surgery I have been going to for over 5 years since I moved into the area.  I was waiting for it and the doctor didn’t fail ‘what are your symptoms’ my whole person automatically went on the defensive.  I have fought to have my case heard so many times, I wish I had a pound for every time I have said the words vomiting, nausea and chronic lower abdominal pain I would be a very rich girl!  

So I explained the symptoms again, while she typed it into her computer and out of the corner of my eye I could see my sisters head shaking and eyes rolling, she backed up my every word and made it crystal clear the direction my life was heading if nothing was done.  

It just so happened that my sister mentioned that people can physically see when I ‘get my pains’, that all colour instantly drains from my face (like I’m not pale enough!) and something changed in the doctors demeanour.  She started on her computer and explained that she thinks she knows what it could be.

She has diagnosed me as having abdominal migraines.  After reading up on it, I tick every box of symptoms

  • Severe Stomach pain that isn’t in one specific spot (non-localized pain)
  • Nausea
  • Vomiting
  • Loss of appetite (not as much now as when it all started when I dropped over 5 stone in a matter of months)
  • General malaise, overall discomfort, uneasiness
  • Often there is no head pain, just the stomach discomfort and pain
  • Symptoms completely go away between episodes.
  • Lack of energy.
  • Pain that lasts 3-72 hours.

Abdominal migraine was overlooked as it is so rare in adults.  Approximately 2% of children suffer from and much, much fewer adults.  It is often mistaken as IBD, IBS or lactose intolerance.

There are many triggers that lead to an attack such as

  • Stress.  Both positive and negative stresses can lead to a flare up.  I stress a lot and I have always noticed that this is a massive trigger with me.
  • Changes in sleeping patterns.
  • Fasting or skipping meals. 
  • Excercise (at least I am safe from this one)
  • Certain foods have been identified as triggers.  Chocolate, cheese, Citrus fruits, alcohol and foods containing MSG and preserved meats such as hotdogs or sausages.

I can’t tell you the relief I feel at having what feels like the Perfect diagnosis.  I have spent my life feeling like my many diagnosis didn’t quite fit but this one really feels like it fits.  When I came out of the doctors I felt like I had my life back.

I have been given medication.  My medication is what given to treat regular migraines.  I have to take 2 as soon as I feel an attack coming on. I have had what I feel would have been 2 attacks and the symptoms all but disappeared within 30 minutes of taking the tablets so fingers crossed this is the answer I have been waiting 15 years for.  

I feel like I can plan things which for me has always been difficult as I never know when I will be ill or how bad it will make me.  I can see a future which for me is such relief in itself.

I hope my ongoing battle and this blog has been an insight into what it is like being me and as this is such a rare diagnosis I hope maybe someone out there who’s been potentially misdiagnosed can read this and take it further.  Your illness isn’t always as it seems never give up the fight, you are stronger than you realise.

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄

Is that my biological clock ticking?

Is that my biological clock ticking?



So we are finally in a settled routine with Tilly and the boys.  School, pickups, drop offs and even the minor things are ironed out and I am a massive fan of routine and I like everything just so.

I went to the doctors who have diagnosed me with abdominal migraines and they have said that I need the coil fitted as my pill is a massive contributing factor to my illness which has stirred up some unknown feelings inside me about having babies.

I am nearly 34 and Tilly will be 4 this year with her brothers being 6 and 11 respectively, if I want another baby now is the time to do it, I’m getting on and when I have the coil fitted it will be in for 3 years and I wouldn’t take it out to try. 

Alex is content to not have anymore but if I wanted to try he would be 100% on board with my decision.  I’m totally torn on the idea.  On one hand I have mouse begging me for a baby sister (she has no idea we don’t choose) and then on the flip side I don’t know if I could go back to the disruption and intensity of having a newborn so I have decided to do what I do what I do best and that’s to make a pro/cons list 

Pros 

  • A live in sibling for mouse.
  • Having a little human who needs us as much as mouse.
  • Carrying a baby inside me, other than the indigestion it was the most amazing experience I have had as a woman.
  • Tilly would have a full time live in sibling.
  • WHO DOESNT LOVE A BABY!!

Cons 

  • Cost (baby’s are expensive)
  • Space (we have a 3 bedroom home, 1 for us, 1 for mouse and 1 for the boys when they come over.
  • Just getting my life back.
  • My dreams of a career change would be on hold again.
  • My age, I wish I had mouse earlier.

I fear my heart is trying to overrule my head.  I never wanted children yet here we are with 3 between us and another seems crazy when I say it out loud but some of the most important humans in my life are my two amazing sisters, my life would be nothing without their love and support and my heart aches that mouse won’t have that relationship, if her siblings lived closer I think my worries would be eased.

This blog isn’t really helping my cause, I’m just as confused as when I started so fingers crossed a decision just comes to me. I know everyone has their thoughts on the matter both to and against but this is solely one only myself and my husband can finally come to.  So who knows what this year will hold for the Flecks.

Signing off with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄

You eat what?! My weirdo food connections.

You eat what?! My weirdo food connections.

I’m a obsessive eater,  I always have been.  My love affair with food that has been one of the most turbulent relationships I have ever been part of, I associate food with joy, it makes me happy when I’m sad and I celebrate great things with a side portion of everything yummy.

My affair with food is something inherently in me, it’s a obsession I have inherited from my dad.  Unfortunately my love of food comes with the constant struggle with my weight.  This blog isn’t about that struggle today. This is about realise how weird I am with food and the choices that surround it, until very recently I didn’t even realise I had issues that were tied up with food, i have no idea where they came from but I’m guessing it’s just something we are raised with.  Have a read and let me know if you have any quirks regarding food, where did you pick them up from?

So, I went into the staff room at work at lunch recently as I had finished my shift and one of my colleagues Steve was eating cod bites and chips and I stated that it was a very dramatic thing to have on a dinner time, they all thought that was hilarious but I am a creature of habit and routine and you can’t have tea time food at lunchtime unless you won’t be having a tea time, even now in my own mind that sounds a little crazy but lunch is for sandwiches and maybe a bowl of soup at a push, then I asked what Kevin had and he had last night Chinese leftovers, obviously I love vicariously through other people’s food so when I asked him what he had they were amazed reaction to the fact he had chow mein and rice.  This apparently is a normal thing, I would never think to have rice with noodles, in my weird brain they are considered two sides that would never go together it’s a one or another situation.  Is this only me? 

So this has got me to thinking what food things do I consider odd and I’m actually shocked at myself.

  •  Sunday dinners, more than one type of potatoes feels like  bedlam and I would never make mash and roast but I’m over the moon if someone else makes it for me it’s so naughty.  
  • Certain foods go or must not not go with sides but there is also some things that defy my own rules for example corned beef pie even though it’s made with mash you can have chips or mash as a side whereas bacon sandwiches cannot have a side they are for solo eating.
  •   You can’t have sides as a main. (Only exception that I can think of is fried rice from the Chinese but it has to have at least one meat in and has to be accompanied with a sauce)
  • Soup AND a sandwich, how is this even a thing I have never had both it’s one or the other both together blows my mind.
  • Everything can go in a sandwich, trust me (as long  as it’s buttered) 
  • Breakfast can only be small unless you are away/having it instead of lunch, a bacon/sausage sandwich are blurred lines, it’s almost like a treat so lunch is usually a no  following this.
  • Eating chocolate at anytime other than night feels highly luxurious and naughty, unless it’s pudding.  
  • Having pudding after food removes the allowance of a sweet treat on a evening.
  • Watching cooking/food related shows isa appetite suppressant, food porn as I call it stops me from snacking, I live vicariously through other people’s food and their eating.

There are a few I realise have been self imposed after years of dieting to aide dieting as my inner fatty would eat anything at anytime and my college/university photographs will back up my story.

Reading back on some of these I realise how twisted my relationship with food is, it’s a beautiful disfunctional relationship which I will continue to hone and perfect in my own nutso way.

Signing off, with love and lipstick,

Pip 💋🖤💄